Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
