O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
