marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
