i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
