Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
