Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize