he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
