just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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