They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
