How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
