he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
