I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
