Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
