She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
