Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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