If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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