Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize