have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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