It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
