belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
