Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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