i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
