Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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