the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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