i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
