hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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