Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
