Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize