I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
