If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize