Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
