He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
