She's JV to your varsity
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
