she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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