wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
