Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Of course I have a pirate flag
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize