im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
