I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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