Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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