I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize