and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
