Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
