how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
