i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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