There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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