dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
