Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
