I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
