I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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