so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
