I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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