Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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