I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
