Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
