Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize