Where is the hickey?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
