Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
